I hope you aren’t too full from my previous post on using imaginary companies to do real good, because I’ve got a tasty dessert for you:
The US Government Accountability Office recently submitted four imaginary manufacturing companies and twenty fictional products to the Department of Energy and the Environmental Protection Agency for Energy Star certification (high efficiency rating). This was a test to see how easily the approval system could be duped and exploited. The results? Two of the twenty products were denied approval, and three were not responded to. Fifteen of the fake products DID get approved, and these are my five favorites:
Room Air Purifier – the product image on the fake company’s website was a space heater with a feather duster and fly strips attached. Oh you’re damn right I found an image (below). Approved within 11 days and listed on the Energy Star Website.
Gas-Powered Alarm Clock – described as being “the size of a small generator” and powered by gasoline. The GOA displays quite a sense of humor in their official product marketing description: ”Gas-powered clock radio is sleek, durable, easy on your electric bill, and surprisingly quiet.” I imagine that death by carbon monoxide poisoning would, in fact, be surprisingly quiet.
Geothermal Heat Pump – the submission data claimed that this product was more energy efficient than any other product ever certified by Energy Star. Ever.
Computer Monitor – this product was certified a half hour after being submitted. Orders quickly came pouring in from real companies offering to buy the high-efficiency products from the imaginary company.
Refrigerator – we have to give Energy Star some credit here. It only took them a single day to approve this product, categorize it, and list it on the Energy Star website. Now THAT’s efficient!
Okay, now you ready?
Wait for it…
Wait for it…
Okay, here you go:
Here are the four bogus companies and their flimsy websites. I hope these stay online FOREVER AND EVER:
Here’s the full GOA report. Or read the tl;dr version.
GOA, you are poets and scholars. You complete me.
